"We can't think of anything more 'super' than putting together a Superbowl team with a gay Quarterback," said Mark Murphy, Packers CEO. "If we'd known Tim was gay we'd have jumped on him before he went to Denver."
Jim Harbaugh, 49ers head coach, was ecstatic. "Nothing says gay better than San Francisco, and nothing says gay football better than the 49ers. What could be better than having a gay quarterback on a gay team in a gay city? We want Tebow. The Kaepernick era is over, he's up for grabs."
For his part, Mr. Tebow has been fairly quiet since the announcement. But in an interview with ESPN Radio's Freddie Coleman, Tim said that he was simply tired of being overlooked.
"I really wanted to be successful because I played hard and got the job done. But once that became impossible, I figured I might as well come out of the closet and use that to my advantage," he said.
Some LGBT Activists are unconvinced. "This could be a gay fake," said Troy Vincent, NFL senior vice president of player engagement. "We have a good relationship with Athlete Ally and GLAAD. If it turns out that Tebow really does like girls instead, the NFL could make gay people upset."
Right now though, Tebow is sitting pretty, with his legs crossed effeminately. "I can't tell you in real numbers, but let's just say that being gay is worth big money," he said. "The 49ers offered me 8 figures to play for two years, and the Fudge Packers responded with even more."
Tim's prospects are very much improved now that he's gay. Where just a few hours ago he was preparing to leave the NFL for good, he's now being pursued by two very gay NFL teams. "I can't wait for Breast Cancer Awareness Month," Tim said. "We get to wear all that great pink stuff!"
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Jimmy, you are a bad, bad man!! (But, I loved it!!!) ~ Kel from Canada, Babe xox
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